Be
by CKRose
Summary: It's been hell for months, but Rick is finally home and adjusting. Kate begins to panic when she wakes to see Rick not in his office or anywhere to be found. A fanfic inspired by the Worst Of Words by Kate Christie and the paintings of E Random-Ship


Disclaimer: They aren't mine I'm just borrowing them for a while

**A/N** Every now and then I read a fanfic and think of it much like we would think of an episode of the show. We think of a scene we'd like to see, or an additional story we'd like to hear. But in this case, my story has come to me because of two lovely people. I've been reading The Worst Of Words by Kate Christie, and I've seen the latest cover art and an additional painting by E Random-Ship, one of the best fan artists I've ever seen. The cover of Lost and the painting Turning Pages have set a story in my mind, and with permission from these amazing women, I'm posting my fanfic which is inspired by their words and art. Kate's story can, of course, be found here at s/10362807/1/The-Worst-of-Words The artwork can be found at Random - Ship dot Tumblr dot com Thanks to both of you for your inspiration.

**A/N 2** This story is not meant to match The Worst Of Words exactly. So I will call it AU. It is just something I imagine could have happened, as Rick tries to process everything.

**Be**

By CkRose

Kate was beginning to panic as she walked around the loft calling for her fiancé. It's something she hasn't been able to do for months, and now fear is rising like bile from the pit of her stomach.

Just as she was ready to call the boys, or go racing down the stairs in search of Rick, it occurred to her to look one last place. She knew that the roof often remained unused, even though it was a beautiful place to just sit and be. A place to think and contemplate. She had done it often after Rick went missing, and she needed a few moments outside the loft, to get some air and be somewhere she didn't feel the lack of his presence in every square inch. She was hoping he could find the same on the roof.

Kate opened the door leading to the roof quietly, hoping to do nothing to spook Rick, when she saw yet something else that broke her heart.

She saw her fiancé sitting on the floor, against the stairwell wall, barefoot, wearing jeans and a dark sweater. His knees were pulled up against his chest, and his arms were folded over them, while tears flowed silently down his face.

Kate walked over to where Rick was sitting, and gently eased herself down the wall. She wanted so badly to fix all of the hurt she knew was coursing through his veins, but realized just being there next to him was the what he needed for now "I thought you might come up here. It was one of the few places I could come to get away from things when I was missing you". Kate spoke quietly.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to bed with you Kate. I'm so sorry. This is so much harder than I thought it would be. There are things I want to say. Things I want to tell you. I just can't yet. And now finding out that you're pregnant is so great, and so hard", he says pushing down more tears.

"No, Rick, please don't beat yourself up about this. It's not your fault.

"But I should have seen the kidna... coming. I should have known something like this..." His voice trailed off as Kate began to feel his body tremor next to hers.

"I can't do this now Kate, I just can't, it's too much.

"Rick, babe," Kate says with a watery, but beautiful smile. "Its okay, I understand, you know I do. I'm going back downstairs to change for bed. I'll be on the couch reading. I have something for you to look at."

Rick felt a little more relaxed when Kate went back to the loft, but it was still so hard trying to process everything. It just kept gnawing at him, but he knew if he was ever going to get passed this, and be better for all of them, he had to try. Even if only an inch at a time.

As Kate settled in on the couch with the book, she decided she wouldn't be too upset if Rick wasn't ready to sit with her and then she looked up. Rick had come back from the roof a while ago, and headed for the shower. He stood in front of her now, silent, like he was trying to decide what to do when Kate motioned for him to sit with her.

"Is this our baby book Kate?" Rick said as he sat down next to the one person he knew he could never live without. And now they were here together. "May I?" Rick motioned towards her lap. He had so much time to make up for and tonight he just wanted to be close to his fiancé and his baby.

"Of course Rick, please". Kate said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice.

And for the first time since he was found. Richard Castle and Katherine Beckett sat together quietly reading what Kate had written about their future.

They read for a while and talked of what was to come, as Rick slowly and finally fell asleep in Kate's lap. And at last, he slept all night


End file.
